About That 72 Virgins Thing......

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If you’re going to be an Islamic militant … you know, a member of ISIS, one of the “selling points” is the notion that there are six dozen virgins waiting for you in heaven just aching to have sex with you.

And if you can’t convince people of your faith to give up their life for their religion using incentives like heaven, and a “oneness with God,” then perhaps the promise of an orgy with 72 virgins might do the trick.

I have many questions about this theory. Where do these 72 virgins come from? Once they’ve been “deflowered” and they’re no longer virgins, what do they do? Laundry? If Islamic radicals are promising scores of untouched virgins to anybody who is killed in the name of “Allah,” do they have some sort of “virgin assembly line” in Jannat (what Muslims call heaven).

I’ve read that most “liberal” Muslims don’t believe this 72 virgins crap, but it’s still used by terrorists as a selling point.

Back in 2008, Tarek Mehanna wrote a poem to entice Western Muslims to join the terrorist cause in the Middle East. Mehanna was convicted in the US of aiding al Qaeda, but fled the country and is now ISIS’s chief propagandist. Here's a sample:

You turn and behold! The voices are singing

Coming from Maidens so fair and enchanting,

These are the Hoorees with round and firm chests

 Pure untouched virgins, they’re better than the best,

Seventy-two in all, with large eyes of dark hue

Each one created especially for you...

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and if you persist in insisting on martyrdom, we have some people that will gladly help you fill your order of virgins...