Video CNN Is Set To Play In Event of The End Of The World

Although the world will surly end at some point,  lucky for us CNN has plans and an end of the world video which the last living CNN employee will be required to play.

A former intern found the never-before-seen video which has been dubbed the “Turner Doomsday Video,” after the network's creator, Ted Turner. After creating Cable News Network (CNN) 34 years ago, Turner assured the world that the only way they'd go off air was on account of  the end of the world.

According to Turner:

"We’ll be on, and we will cover the end of the world, live, and that will be our last event. We’ll play the National Anthem only one time, on the first of June [the day CNN launched], and when the end of the world comes, we’ll play ‘Nearer My God To Thee’ before we sign off."    

The video is stored on CNN’s MIRA archive system. According to the website Unilad, “The video itself is proper 80s,” and “It’s in standard definition, with an aspect ratio of 4:3, perfect for the cathode-ray tube televisions of the 1980s.”

 

It goes to show the level of production quality CNN is ready to offer its viewers, but that’s the kind of broadcasts to which they've become accustomed.  CNN may very well be the human centipede of journalism at this point, its bloated corpse stumbling through the supposed middle ground of the wasteland that is American cable news.

Personally, I'd rather see CNN go out with the slightly whacked CNN Anchor Dudette Carol Costello running around the news set screaming and ripping her hair out while pseudo-journalist Don Lemon looks solemnly into the camera as he pees in his pants.....